The Struggle

This past week has been difficult to say the least.
Let me start from the beginning.
Oh and a warning, there's lots of detail here that may gross some of you out. Don't say I didn't warn you.
On Thursday morning, August 14th I woke up with contractions but they went away quickly. I got up from breakfast to clean and Daniel noticed my seat was soaked. Weird that I hadn't noticed anything before him but pregnancy is weird and you can have more discharge which is very normal so I didn't think it was anything different. Of course until he noticed my seat and I saw it too. Immediately we both assumed it must have been my water. Your water doesn't always break in this huge gush like they show in movies. In fact, that happens in about 5% of pregnancies (google told me so, it must be true). I hadn't had contractions though so I was just going to wait it out a bit. Daniel went to work while Grey and I played cars, per usual. This all happened at 8 AM. By 11 AM I started bleeding and I don't mean 'I got a paper cut' type bleeding but more like 'How many cups could this fill' type of bleeding. GROSS.
So now I was nervous. I called the doctor. They said it sounded like my membranes had ruptured and to come in immediately. Naturally I called Daniel's work to let them know I needed him. He was with a client so they had to interrupt, which I always feel so bad about. He flew home! I had the hospital bag packed and everything else we would need because we were under the impression that this was it! The contractions started but I felt them all in my back. That's not uncommon, a lot of woman have back labor, it was just different for me because Greyson's was all in front.
When we got to the office they checked my cervix, did a few tests to see if my water had broken and then sent us for an ultrasound. In the midst of my exam the doctor said it was entirely clear to her if my water had broken or not, that she couldn't tell by the exam, hence the ultrasound. Baby girl looked great, my water hadn't broken but they couldn't see where the bleeding was coming from. At this point I had gone through two pads and that's a crazy amount of blood in pregnancy. We then headed to the Labor & Delivery Unit.
Once we got there they hooked up all the monitors to keep an eye on my contractions and baby girl.
They did another exam, couldn't explain the bleeding and said my cervix hadn't changed. After several hours the bleeding finally stopped and they sent me home saying "Things are moving along just very slowly". Cause that's exactly what every lady in my position would want to hear right?
Ugh. So then on Monday, August 18th, aka yesterday the nurse called to follow up. I explained how I'm feeling and she said I definitely needed to been seen in the office. Daniel had to call out of work to take me. I really did not want to go in for them to keep me for hours and tell me the exact same thing.
Before I continue, let me give some info.
I had now been contracting every 5 minutes, non stop, day and night for 5 days. That is not normal.
Each day the contractions would get a bit more intense. Contractions are tough as it is but running after an 18 month old after days of it is literally miserable. Daniel does all he can when he's home to help comfort me and care for Greyson but he has to work so I can't keep him home forever. Although if I had three wishes being able to have him home more would be one of them for sure. Everyone is much happier when he is home. Anyway, my contractions won't let up! Normally if you're having what they call 'False Labor' or Braxton Hicks then they will stop at some point during the day. They may come back again the next day but they do go away. In my case they are not going away and they're so consistent that it can't be False Labor. Which leaves me right where I am. In constant pain with no change and no answers.
Resuming to yesterdays L&D visit, they decided to give me and IV of fluids thinking I could be dehydrated so that's causing the contractions. I literally drink more water than I can even keep track of so I already knew I was not dehydrated but they did it any. My contractions then went from every 5 minutes to every 4 minutes but still no change in my cervix. I was incredibly frustrated. The RN was going back and forth between us and the doctor. She came in and said they were going to give me Morphine to let me sleep for a few hours so I'd wake up and either be in full blown labor or the contractions would stop. The Morphine was really just to let me sleep a bit.
As you all know I don't believe in medication. We are an all natural family so we don't take medication for headaches, etc. Medication just masks the symptoms until next time.
The idea of taking a narcotic while pregnant made me really uncomfortable. I just did not want to take it. Plus sleeping isn't my problem, contractions are. The thought of taking something so strong was really making uncomfortable so I told them I wouldn't take it and how it made me feel. The RN went back to the doctor to see what else they could do for me. When she came back I was shocked by her response. Literally shocked. She said "The doctor agreed with you that Morphine is probably a bit too much for you at this point in your pregnancy." CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!
They were going to give me something that could potentially hurt me and the baby. I'm so thankful that I am strong enough to voice my opinion. Had I been like most people and just followed the nurse/doctor's orders to begin with something awful could have happened to us. Their solution was to give me Ambien. So basically a less potent sleeping pill. I just took the prescription and left crying. This is day 6 of non stop, consistent contractions. I don't see my doctor until Monday morning and I absolutely refuse to go to L&D one more time unless this babe is literally head out already.
So ladies and gents its safe to say the struggle is real. SO real.
I'm hoping that before then that these contractions will either turn into Active Labor or stop all together. In the mean time we are trying everything, natural and safe, we can to help. Yoga, excerise, massage, warm baths and naps. Wish me luck!

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Maira Gall